Can You Hear That? It's the Sound Of…

...hearts breaking across Western Kentucky. The devastatingly handsome Keith Fritz sent out a Facebook message yesterday telling us that he's moving to Berkeley, Calif., to work for PCC Structurals in nearby San Leandro. The rocket scientist/model/heartthrob will be the new purchasing material planner there. And will, no doubt, completely transform the San Francisco Bay Area social scene much like he did here in Paducah since arriving a year ago. "I am very glad that I had the experience of living in Paducah for the last year," LLCoolFritz writes. "I have seen and experienced a whole other culture and way of being. The love of Maker's Mark that I developed will live on forever." Ah, yes, and so will our memories of Keith and his love of Maker's Mark. Our loss is every single, straight woman's gain out there on the Left Coast. As a former longtime single gal living in San Francisco, let me just share two words regarding the dating scene: slim pickins. Therefore, I'm compiling a transition team of totally fab gal pals to help Keith settle into his new home. K-FiddyDiddy is packing up his Hot Pockets and heading west at the end of the month. But not before throwing himself a wild going-away party on July 26. Details to come. Rest up, Keith Fritz. The transition team will be waiting. UPDATE: This just in from K-Fritz, himself. The goodbye party is 8 p.m., Saturday, July 26, Di Fratellis, then on to points not yet known and possibly not remembered afterward. Everyone's invited to share some going-away love.

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