Beverly Hayden

Beautiful Beverly Hayden, 39, just returned to Paducah from Southeast Asia after, as her blog title suggests, 7 Months with Carry-On Luggage. Beverly tells us how she packed — and even better, about the hotties she met — including one hunky monk!

Beverly Hayden, you are cute, cute, cute, no doubt about it. Wild woman! Seven months in Southeast Asia? With just your carry-on? How fabulous!
I've wanted to live abroad or travel long-term since I was in college. I just decided to get on with it and picked Southeast Asia because I wanted to experience a culture that was radically different from our own. I left Paducah August 1, 2008 and returned February 27, 2009.

How did you pack for seven months?
As lightly as possible! The title of my blog is 7 Months with Carry-On Luggage. I've learned through travel in the past that packing light makes traveling sooooo much more enjoyable. But even packing as I light as I did, I still had too much.

I sent home a box full of stuff from Bali and I thinned out again after Thailand. Ultimately, my goal was to have only as much stuff as I could carry with me on a motorbike.

OMG. I'd love that!
Of course, the last week, I went on a serious shopping spree for gifts and objects to use in my art, so I came home with four or five times as much as I traveled with.

Where all did you go?
I started in Bali, which was pure magic. It's either still my favorite place or tied with Vietnam. I can't quite decide. Then I went to Thailand and traveled around the northern area for about six weeks.

After that, I made an unplanned detour and went to Cambodia where I thought I might stay for two or three weeks, but ended up staying for six weeks. The highlight of my trip, though, was a two-month independent motorbike trip in Vietnam from Hanoi to Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City.

What did you love about that particular adventure?
Traveling by motorbike is an adventure almost every hour. To start with, the motorbike I bought was a Chinese knock-off of a Honda. So I called her the Fonda (since she was a Fake Honda). The Fonda broke down or required some sort of repair or adjustment just shy of every day.

Through her, though, I met a Vietnamese man on Cat Ba Island named Zoom who was concerned about me traveling alone on such an unroadworthy bike. So he decided to come along.

Beverly, you're gorgeous! Of course he wanted to come along!
Hah! Well, at first the plan was just for a few days, but it turned into the entire motorbike trip. Zoom taught me to speak some Vietnamese, translated with the locals for me and gave me many valuable insights into the Vietnamese culture.

I most loved that traveling by motorbike was completely independent and unguided. Zoom and I got WAY off the beaten path. We stayed in the homes of many Vietnamese people. I felt like there, more than anywhere else, I really discovered the culture of Vietnam. I saw first hand how forgiving, friendly, generous and industrious the Vietnamese people are.

Beverly, you're a famous photographer. Did you take thousands of photos?
I wouldn’t exactly say that I’m famous, but I am certainly very prolific. I did, indeed, take thousands of photographs. I was most interested in capturing the day-to-day life of the people everywhere I went, particularly those aspects that make Asia so unique. Like six people riding one motorbike, the enchanting offerings to the gods in Bali and wish lanterns in Thailand.

Did you have amazing romances with exotic men everywhere you went?
As a foreigner, I found that I received lots of attention from many exotic men, which I naturally found very fun and flattering. It would have been completely inappropriate, however, to have romances with most of them.

Why?
They were too young, or they'd expect me to move to their tiny village and become their wife.

The second concern, I understand. But the first? When in Rome….
Yes, well, the most exotic man that I did NOT have a romance with was this absolutely adorable (and quite handsome!) young monk who texted me all the time and flirted with me shamelessly, telling me on numerous occasions that he was planning to disrobe.

Woo-hoo!
That means leave the monkhood, Mary.

Oh.
We met when I was photographing people and daily life in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and I caught sight of him in his robes reading a newspaper. Before I could capture him in that moment, he looked up and invited me to come sit with him. We had a nice visit and made plans for him to give me a Khmer language lesson the next day.

That sounds like a date!
I know! Monks are not supposed to touch women, or hand anything to or receive anything directly from us. Yet throughout my lesson, he continually punched me on the arm the way a sixth grade boy might awkwardly flirt with a girl. It was all very surreal but quite comical.

Here's what I wrote on my blog:

Perhaps his stated intentions of leaving the monkhood after completing his education influenced his less-than-"monkly" attitudes. And I do understand that it's not terribly uncommon for monks to be "deflowered" by curious Western women. Perhaps Seng was aware of this too. I have no idea, but I can definitely say that this particular monk was one flower who remained in the garden, at least as far as this Western girl was concerned.

Oh no! So you broke his monkly heart?
I don’t know how broken it was. He seemed just as eager for me to buy him a motorbike as he did for me to, um, "take a stroll through his garden." Besides, I just think it's bad karma to compete with Buddha for a monk's heart.

Good point! What's your favorite memory from the entire trip?
How about a "highlight reel" instead?

Go for it!
I spent the night at a minority village in Vietnam and ended up teaching an impromptu English lesson to about 15 boys and men until none of us could stay awake any longer (and then they knocked at my door at 7 a.m. to start again), I brought food to and got to know children who live at a dump in Cambodia (like the one in Slumdog Millionaire), I befriended prostitutes (below) and partied with them on my 39th birthday, I met and photographed a king in Bali, I played with tigers in Thailand and I climbed mountains in Ha Long Bay.

I had a boyfriend, I lost a boyfriend, I met a Vietnamese man who bought a dictionary so he could find the right English word to describe my smile, I was directed to people's backyards in response to "Where's the bathroom?"

Yick.
Later, in my hotel, I delighted in simple things like Western toilets. I ate spider legs, any number of fried insects, congealed goat's blood (below right) and drank rice wine with goat penises floating in it. I also ate the most delicious Vietnamese food ever.

I was adopted as a sister, a daughter and a mother repeatedly, I posed for a photograph with a bride in her new bridal suite on the eve of her wedding and I was taught to row those little round woven fishing boats.

On top of that, I was chased by wild dogs and bitten by a monkey in Bali, and I was included as "immediate family" for a front-and-center seat at a Balinese cremation ceremony.

I have 10 million memories, 95 percent of which were magical and positive; 100 percent of which I'm glad I experienced, even if some pain came with them. I was so busy experiencing everything that I haven't finished writing them all on my blog.

I bet you're going to miss those fried spider legs.
Hah! Actually, I’m going to start trying my hand at some of the Asian dishes, like spring rolls, soups and "common meals," as opposed to the fried insects, arachnids and reptiles — although surprisingly, some of those were actually pretty tasty!

Excellent! You should buy your ingredients from the Asian Sensation at the International Grocery!
Thanks for the suggestion! I was hoping I wouldn’t have to drive all the way to Carbondale or Nashville for supplies.

Well, Beverly, what an amazing adventure. I'm blown away! Did it just totally change you?
I am completely changed. One thing I learned — I no longer believe that local is always better. They're all our children. They're all our pets. They're all our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, neighbors. Local is good, but our neediest Americans are still way better off than the average (or above-average!) people I saw on the other side of the globe.

One great group that's feeding the children at the dump (just like the one you saw in Slumdog Millionaire) as well as helping local villages become self-sustainable is called CHOICE. If you'd like to help them, it doesn't take much. They can feed three children for $1, so even $5 provides fruit, bread and eggs for 15 kids!

That's so cool. We'll check it out! What are you doing now that you're back home?
I'm in the process of setting up my studio (which is all packed away in storage at the moment) and will immediately start making art. I have four art shows coming up in the next few months. I also still writing my blog as I'm about two months behind in the entries!

I would like to market my stories and photos for a book, or at least some travel articles in magazines. Eventually, I'd like to start leading tours (photo tours, motorbike tours, or just plain "off the beaten path" tours) of Southeast Asia. I'm hoping to hit the road again for more long-term travel August 1.

How are you going to find a great guy if you keep moving around all the time?
I wouldn't really say that I am looking. Don't get me wrong — I'd love to discover and spend the rest of my life with my soul mate, but I don't think the answer to finding him is actively seeking him out.

I figure we'll have common interests, so if I just continue pursuing my interests, we'll probably meet that way. And in the meantime, I'll enjoy a rich, fulfilling life. I do expect that he will be a bright, kind-hearted, open-minded, adventurer, who's passionate about life, compassionate toward others, who will cherish me and adore the fact that I adore him. Oh, and undoubtedly, he'll be sarcastic.

What's your favorite quality in a man?
While I adore men who make me laugh, who listen and who challenge me, I think the Grateful Dead had it right. I guess it really all comes down to "Are you kind?"

Right on! What do you like to do when you're not working?
I like to travel. When I'm not doing that, I like to read books or watch movies about adventure travel. I like to listen to stories as well as tell them. And I love cuddling up with my cats. I enjoy visiting with family and friends, especially over wine and meals we've cooked together. Although meals cooked by others are good, too.

We've got some great restaurants in Paducah!
I know! Just the other night, Nikki and I caught up over an amazing meal at Martin Fierro Argentinean Grill and thoroughly enjoyed numerous glasses of wine. But not as much as we enjoyed flirting with owner Eugene Nunez (right).

Oh yeah, and talk about exotic!
Eugene is a delightful host, as well as great eye candy!

No doubt about it! Speaking of great eye candy, Mz World Traveler, we're happy to have you back home — at least until your next amazing adventure!

---