Chrystal Galloway

Photo by Brian Steffen.

If you want to, you can rhyme it with iList Paducah! Meet Chrystal Galloway, 30, the wild and racy woman behind Bazooka, a 'twee naughty new newspaper making the rounds around town!

Chrystal Galloway, you are cute, cute, cute, no doubt about it. You're a WILD THING! How'd you get the idea for Bazooka, Mz. Hot Mamma Media Mogul?!
I've always wanted to do a racy, fun, slightly raunchy alternative newspaper, and I got the idea for calling it Bazooka after the song.

The Benny Goodman/Carmen Miranda Paducah song?
Yep, that's the one! I did most of the writing in the first issue, but I’m getting more contributors, and I have a wonderful graphic designer, Brian Lindberg, who makes the mag look so cool and sharp and made me the coolest logo ever.

It's DAR-LING! And you've got the race and raunch DOWN, girlfriend! The first issue features Paducah's historical brothels, and the second one features you as a cartoon super hero on the cover, with quite the, uh, bazookas!
Well, it’s not exactly me! I did say I wanted her to have my eyes, though. Rudy Holmes of Tango Bay Art Studios did that cover art. Cool, huh? Eventually I would like to make a comic of her!

Very cool! What kind of reaction are you getting?
Even though I knew a lot of people would not like what I was doing, and that there might even be repercussions from it, I knew I had to do it my way.

I've had people say, "You could sell so many more ads and be so much more successful if you just toned it down." And I'm like, no. I wouldn't want to read that magazine. I would be bored. I write what I think is funny and entertaining, and stuff that I would like to know about. And I think there are a lot of people out there like me.

You proved that right! Didn't you run out of copies of the first issue?
OMG, yes, they were gone just like that. Shopkeepers told me that customers would grab one and then come back for five more. I printed an extra 1,000 copies of the second one.

And I've had tons more people tell me that they LOVE the racy stuff, that it's the best part of the magazine and please, please don't change it. One guy stopped me on the street and said he and his wife read it cover to cover. He thanked me for having the balls to do something like this in Paducah. I was smiling the rest of the day.

Hah! Maybe your new tagline should be Bazooka: Where Balls Meet Boobs.
I like it!

I picked up the first copy at Doe's Eat Place and immediately fell in love. Where else can folks get copies?
Along with Doe's, we have them at Roof Brothers on Park Avenue, Jeremiah's, di Fratelli’s, Maiden Alley Cinema, Crash Comics, Karson Kelley's Salon, Bobby's Inkslingers, Jolly Roger and some other random spots around town.

And it's monthly?
Yes, the next issue will come out in June.

What if folks want to be included or advertise?
They should contact me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), or call me at 366.9565.

Chrystal, you look so familiar. Where have we met before?
Probably at Jeremiah's. I've worked there weekends on and off for years, and it's a wonderful job.

LOVE Jeremiah's!
Me too! It's my substitute for a social life. I’m the official back scratcher. And honestly, it's helped so much just knowing a ton of people around town, because when I go in to talk to someone about the magazine, odds are I've served them a Bud or two. Hell, that's where I met Brian, my layout guy!

So in the first issue, you were very anonymous. There was no mention of your real name.
Yeah, just Bellablue, my alter-ego.

And the second issue, you use your first name. But you're coming out with your real name here on iList Paducah! I'm flattered to land such an exclusive scoop!
I'm flattered you want me! The only reason I haven't used my full name is because of my family. Though they should be used to me embarrassing the shit out of them by now.

Hah! Well, tell us all the embarrassing stuff!
Well, I showed a lot of promise in high school, and was even a National Merit Semi-Finalist and went to Governor's School for the Arts. But then once I left home, I went batshit crazy and just tried to experience everything life had to offer, and ended up getting myself in all kinds of crazy situations and trouble.

But I regret very little. I’ve had some amazing experiences. Everything I've done has made me who I am today, and I pretty much like that person. Also, it gives me a lot to write about!

How did you get started as a writer?
I've been writing since I was a kid, and over the years I've interviewed John Updike and met Hunter S. Thompson. I wrote for The Official Burt the Cat Fanclub Newsletter in Louisville (Burt, for short), and also wrote for News4U, The River and Current.

I recently ran into Jim Toy, my Lone Oak High School English teacher, and he told me that he was not shocked at all that I was doing a racy, fun, slightly raunchy alternative newspaper.

Now I'm 30, a single mom of two kids under the age of 6, and am honestly shocked as hell that I got this shit done.

OK, we have to be honest for all the fellas out there salivating to meet you. You're not quite single yet. You're at the tail end of a divorce.
Yes, that's true. My husband and I separated several years ago with the typical amount of drama. But since we have small children, and I was pretty busy with them, not to mention divorces are a pain in the ass and cost a lot of money, I just never got around to it.

Honestly, I was post-partum for a long time and didn't want to do anything. But we're on great terms, I like his girlfriend and he's a good dad. Now that the babies are sleeping through the night and I'm getting out there and meeting people with the magazine, and actually interested in dating again, we plan to have the divorce finalized by the end of summer.

OK guys, mark your calendars for end of summer! Chrystal, tell us about your cutie kiddies! They're darling!
I have Jack, who is 5, and just got his first mohawk, and Bella, who is 1 and a half.

You know, as a single mom, sometimes you get terrified, stressed, and freaked out. But you roll with the punches or lay down and die. I made it, and now I have two gorgeous sweet kids who are turning out all right, with more love than they can handle.

What kind of guy is a hot, wild woman like yourself looking for?
Sheesh. That's a tough one! I'm a Gemini with about eight different personalities, and they all like a different type of man!

An ideal guy for me would be someone who maybe grew up a little country like I did, so he's able to do manly things like fix a car or build a deck. Someone comfortable playing outside in the sunshine. Or break a neck — that's kind of hot, too. But I've also traveled abroad and love to learn and read, so I appreciate a guy with a little culture.

Of course, I'm also a sucker for cheesy, white-trash humor, and stupid shit like MST3K and The Onion, so he has to be ready for some silliness!

And boots, I love a guy in jeans and boots...with nice forearms.

I bet you intimidate guys with your extreme hotness, though. And your bazookas. What should guys know about you?
I can change my own tire, make hellacious fried chicken, drink beer from the bottle, and can still be a girly girl hot mattress kitten.

And even though I'm mischievous and naughty, I'm really a loyal and faithful girl. I might be a bit flaky about silly stuff, but when it comes to my family and friends, I'm rock solid.

Eventually I want a guy who is my partner, who wants to protect and provide, and in exchange be adored and covered with babies' smooches during the day and hot momma kisses at night.

This might be a good time to remind people of your email address!
The problem is that, of course, with the magazine, another job and kids, I'm pretty exhausted, which is how I explain the fact that I'm occasionally a smartass.

I probably couldn't give a serious relationship the attention it deserves right now, but hell, when you meet the one, you make it work. I would be happy with some beers and flirting over the pool table, a walk downtown wearing sexy heels, a lot of laughing and maybe some smooching in a dark alley...every girl could use a little more of that!

Amen, sister! Hey, you should come to our Breaking the Ice Singles Mixer and Speed Dating event! You game?
Oh I'm totally game! I love men, I love meeting new people and I love to flirt!

Photo by Brian Steffen.

So what would you ask someone in a two-minute date? What would you be looking to find out?
I like to find out what their quirks are. I would ask, like, what's the geekiest thing you're into? If they can admit they're a D&D player, or a member of the Kiss Army or have a thing for Saved by the Bell, I can appreciate that — 'cause I'm kind of a nerd myself. Or I would ask them what their favorite place in the world is. For some it might be a cafe in Rome, or a VIP lounge in Vegas or maybe just sitting on a boat in the Boundry Waters of Minnesota soaking up nature. That can tell you a lot about a person. For me, I think it would be a tough call, because I've been to some amazing places.

Chrystal, congrats on Bazooka. It's a fun publication, and frankly, we can all use a little more fun around here!
I like to think of it as a little something for the sinners. Trying to make this paper happen on my own is one of the hardest but most rewarding things I've ever done, and I think I've earned the right to feel hella proud of it!