We know you single folks are busy. iList Paducah's Kelsie Gray goes on that first date so you don't have to!August 30, 2011
Claudia Harris
She’s sassy, brassy, and a true Jill-of-All-Trades. Whether you’re after an anklet, a vibrator, or a blueberry pie, she’s got what you need. Claudia Harris is one bad-ass class act. Catch her if you can!
So tell me the basics. Where are you from? What are you doing now? Where do you hope you’re headed?
I’m from right here in Paducah, although most people think I’m from up North. I speak quite fast and don’t have an accent. Right now, I’m busy working as a Barista at Books-A-Million and a bartender at the Carson Center, although you could say I’m a “Jill of all Trades”. In the past year, I’ve also been a Certified Bike Tech, and a Child Care Provider. I also have my own small business called Dolled Up Dames custom jewelry. I make beaded bobby pins, necklaces, earrings, fake gauges, bracelets, anklets, duct tape hair bows, and feathered headbands, and I do repair work on other jewelry, custom designs, and requests. I also sell sex toys through Slumber Parties (Ask me about booking a party!). You can add both Dolled Up Dames and Slumber Parties by Claudia on Facebook. When I’m not working, I’m playing Roller Derby, riding my bike, being a course worker for SCCA Autocross events, going to the movies, modeling for Paducah Sketchaholics, singing, or drawing tattoos.
As far as where I’m heading - who knows? The road will take me where it wants. I’ve explored possibilities such as law enforcement, massage therapy, tattoo artistry, writing, and playing full time Roller Derby. My dream is to open up my own mini mall full of cool stuff to do and see: thrift shops, coffee shops, performance space, etc…but I’ll have to win the lottery for that one.- I see you have a birthday coming up. Other than world peace, what would be the best birthday present you could receive?
I’m saving for this car I really, really want (and really need since I don’t have a car!) so money would be nice. Or drinks, people can buy me drinks, since it will be my 21st birthday. - Fill in the blanks: I am feisty, artistic, and creepy.
- I am most definitely not tall, good at math, or modest (blame ten years in theater for that last one!).
- Your life is being made into a movie. Who is cast to play the part of Claudia Harris?
Zooey Deschanel. no doubt about it. She is quirky and odd, just like me! 
You’re a roller derby gal, yes? What’s your derby name and how did you come by it?
Yes, I play roller derby, now mostly with the So. Illinois Roller Girls. My name is Dollface Delilah and my number is H8U2 (“Hate You Too!” Not “I hate U2”, although I do hate that band!). Dollface because I’ve always loved the pet names people use. Sounds very 1920’s speakeasy to me. Delilah because Delilah in the Bible was one badass bitch, and she took down Samson like he was nothing. My tagline is, “She may look sweet, but she’s as devious as she is darling; it’s number H8U2, Dollface Delilah!” I think it fits me.- How is the roller derby a lot like love?
Roller derby is very much like love in that you really have to work hard at it. There is no time to be self-centered or try to be the boss. It’s team work between you and your league. It’ll make you happy beyond your wildest dreams if you let it. Also, if you and your roller derby league have a fight, a falling out, or there is too much drama, you can just break up. Find a new league to love. - Let’s say you’re marooned on a desert island in the middle of the Ohio River. What are three things you would HAVE to have with you other than food and water?
1. Endless supply of cold Almond milk or fountian Pepsi.
2. Burt’s Bee pomogranate lip balm.
3. A water proof camera so I could document my swim back to civilization. - I know you like to make pies. What’s the most man-pleasin’ pie you can think of?
I love pies, and who says my man pleasin’ is only left to pies?! I am a damn good baker, if I do say so myself, but, if I have to limit it to a pie…my blueberry pie turns pie haters into believers. It’s all about the crust. - If you could encapsulate your life philosophy on a bumper sticker or refrigerator magnet, what would it say?
“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”
