We know you single folks are busy. Kelsie Gray goes on that first date so you don't have to!

May 22, 2012

Paducah Improv

It seems like whenever I read dating articles and polls, the number one quality valued in a man is a sense of humor. In our ongoing efforts to bring the people what they want all while going above and beyond the call of duty, I sat down with an entire group of guys who don’t just have a sense of humor—they have complete and total command over it. Individually, they are Andy Wiggins, Kyle Davis, Todd Holloman, DJ Wood, Jorge Machaen, Kempton Baldridge, Jesse Barfield, Matt Curtis, and Frank Cavanaugh. Together, they make up Paducah Improv, whose laugh-a-minute, improvised comedy show “NO REFUNDS” will hit the Carson Center on May 26th at 8 p.m. These guys are not only hilarious; they’re also cute, cute, cute no doubt about it (to quote a famous philosopher), so it’s safe to say you definitely won’t be asking for a refund at the end of the evening. And as an added bonus? 88.88% of them are single!

So, how’d you guys get started? Did you meet in a bathroom, like Boyz 2 Men?

Jesse Barfield: We were all astronauts.
Kyle Davis: That’s a lie.
Jess Barfield: I know. I’m sorry.
Kyle Davis: We were Russian spies.
Todd Holloman: That is true.
Jorge Machaen: Actually, we all met at tryouts organized by Chuck Tate and Eric Hobbs.
Jesse Barfield: I don’t remember that at all.
Kyle Davis and Todd Holloman: Me neither.

How does one “rehearse” or “practice” improv? Does that kill the spontaneity? Do I have any clue what I’m talking about?

Kempton Baldridge: You have to practice Improv to do it well, but we don’t practice specific scenes. We practice Improv rules and games.
Andy Wiggins: For example, one big rule of Improv is avoid questions. Not asking questions on stage is something you have to practice to do well.
Kempton Baldridge: We also practice what’s called ‘Yes, And….’ It means you should always agree with another player in a scene, and heighten what they say.
Andy Wiggins: Yes, exactly Kempton, and you suck.
Kempton Baldridge: Thanks, Andy, that’s a good example of ‘Yes, And’.
Andy Wiggins: What example?

Has anyone ever told you guys how handsome you are?

Paducah Improv: Yes.

And since this is iDate, it has to be asked…how many of you are actually available at the moment?

Kyle Davis: Jorge has a girlfriend. She’s better looking than him, so we hate him for that.
Jorge Machaen: You hate me?
Kyle Davis: Only behind your back.
Jorge Machaen: Thanks, guy.
Kyle Davis: No problem.
Jorge Machaen: The others are all single. And, my girlfriend is really hot.
Kyle Davis: Die in a fire.

Everyone wants a guy with a sense of humor, but wit will only get you 99% of the places you want to be. What else can someone on the prowl appreciate about you?

Andy Wiggins: I have a huge –
DJ Wood: Andy!
Andy Wiggins: ….ego. What did you think I was going to say?
DJ Wood: I thought you’d lie and say you had a huge heart.
Andy Wiggins: No. No, I’m heartless.
DJ Wood: Correct.

Do people expect you to be hilarious all the time, and are they disappointed when you don’t meet their expectations?

Matt Curtis: What are expectations?
Jesse Barfield: Yes, they expect it, and Big T delivers.
Matt Curtis: Who is Big T?
Jesse Barfield: Big T is the one that delivers.
Matt Curtis: I’m not Big T.
Jesse Barfield: Big T knows. Big T loves you anyway.
Todd Holloman: To actually answer the question you asked, yes, people expect it and, no, they are never disappointed.
Jesse Barfield: That’s what I said!
Matt Curtis: I’m sleepy.

Let’s say it’s time to affix a warning label to your person. What does it say?

Andy Wiggins: Approach with care.
DJ Woods: I don’t know.
Todd Holloman: Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
Matt Curtis: Contents may have shifted after handling.
Jesse Barfield: If ingested, contact the nearest poison control center.
Kyle Davis: Not approved for household use.
Jorge Machaen: Something in Spanish.
Kempton Baldridge: Stay back 10 feet.

When it comes to joking with women, what topics have you found to be totally off-limits?

Todd Holloman: You should avoid any jokes about anything you think the woman might be self-conscious or sensitive about.
Kempton Baldridge: Oh, I don’t know. I think you can joke about some things like that.
Todd Holloman: You can’t. Trust me on this one, Kempton.
Kempton Baldridge: I’ve joked with women about things like that before.
Todd Holloman: I rest my case.

And speaking of women, did you make a conscious effort to have an all-male improv group, or did it just sort of happen that way?

Kyle J Davis: It was not a conscious decision. Actually, we would like to add some female players to the group soon.
Andy Wiggins: Right. Having more variety in the troupe will allow us to do different kinds of comedy.
Kyle J Davis: While all of us are willing to play women on the stage, it’s not the same. And we would all make hideous women.
Andy Wiggins: Except maybe Jorge.
Kyle J Davis: That’s because he’s a Latin temptress.

I’m wondering if your comedic improv abilities might spill over someday into a real life situation where MacGyver like improvisational skills are needed to save a life or prevent a disaster. Let’s say it’s the zombie apocalypse and you have a bowling pin, a pair of rubber kitchen gloves (bright yellow), and a bar of Irish Spring. What’s going to happen?

DJ Wood: God, I have no idea.
Matt Curtis: Bowling pin, bright yellow rubber gloves, and a bar of Irish Spring? With those and an ostrich I could survive for years.
DJ Wood: What? How?
Matt Curtis: Think about it.
DJ Wood: I’m trying. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Matt Curtis: Let me put it this way, with those I could end a zombie apocalypse or become rich. Your choice.
DJ Wood: You worry me.
Matt Curtis: Aw, thanks DJ. I like you too.

And finally, tell me why our readers should make a point of attending the NO REFUNDS show.

Andy Wiggins: If you like comedy and hot dudes, then NO REFUNDS is for you.
Kyle Davis: And there will be plenty of both.
DJ Wood: Oh, yes. Especially hot dudes.
Jorge Machaen: And comedy.
Todd Holloman: I endorse this message.
Matt Curtis: I like monkeys.
Jesse Barfield: We know, buddy.
Kempton Baldridge: If you think about it, what we’re really offering is an unusual opportunity for audience members to have a great evening and a subsequent advantage when it comes to –
Everyone Else: Shut up, Kempton!

For more information and to purchase tickets, visit thecarsoncenter.org or call 450.4444. I can’t imagine a better use for a $5 bill!